Personal Finance Series: No 28 – The Wealthy Skill Of Influencing With Integrity

Another critical skill in managing money well, in becoming wealthy rather than chasing money, is the skill of influencing others. This is, to get others to respond favourably to your actions, wishes, words, and deeds.In matters of personal finance budget management, understanding the ‘picture’ of personal finance in advance of shopping trips, dates, and conversations with a partner or spouse, means that a vital part of preparation has been taken care of. It removes the guesswork in misunderstanding. It reduces mistaken communication.Influencing: Get Results with IntegrityA person with strong influencing skills are easy to spot – people want to be around them. These people communicate with integrity because they are not pressurising other to do their bidding. They set about taking action, they are adaptable to the circumstances they are in. People are influenced positively because they are acknowledged, appreciated and feel understood.When influencing with integrity, it is important to remember that the perception you generate is the reality created, and therefore understanding yourself is am important step in having any positive impact on others.Influencing: The Hidden Signs of LyingOne of the most important skills in influencing skills is being able to spot when you are being sold to, or lied to or both. Sales professionals, ethically or otherwise ultimately want to influence you to buy what they are selling, so when considering decisions of personal finance spending, it is very useful to know when you are being deceived or lied to. This will enable a better decision and judgment of the proposed purchase.When people lie, they behave differently than normal. Often their limbs and arms will be stiff, jerky and gestures will be towards themselves rather than away from their bodies. People, when lying avoid eye contact or might touch their face, throat, mouth or behind their ears in a self grooming gesture which reassures themselves while they tell an untruth. Expressions are mismatched from the words they use, like a delayed smile, or even a forced smile. They might speak faster, be defensive, or unconsciously place an object between themselves and you, like fiddling with a pen, cup or crossing their legs.Understanding these hidden signs allows for a more informed processing of the information being listened to, and an appropriate response to be formulated.Influencing: Understand before being UnderstoodThe famous author Steven R Covey, talks about the power of influencing and one of the principles he advocates is to understand the other person properly before trying to make them understand you. It involves setting aside all the confusion that comes with first impressions; their mannerisms, looks, dress, and voice. By looking beyond these things, it is possible to understand a person at a deeper level.Many people don’t listen properly when in a conversation, and assume they know what the other person is saying. To understand before being understood is to properly diagnose the problem before offering a solution. This has the benefit through insight, of communicating more effectively because of that deeper understanding – and it removes one of the most common barriers to communication.Influencing: How to Make Friends with Social MediaRead their profile and interests
Comment on their status updates
Send helpful private messages or links
Talk about them not you
Add links and useful comments to your wall
Respond when they comment on your postingsBy foregoing the ‘get rich quick’ schemes and ‘make push-button money’ products, influencing with integrity creates a behaviour and way of thinking that drives deep relationships. It is the best form of longevity in business, and the most profitable. Therefore, when thinking about money management, think about “The Right Thing” for you and your family. Set parameters, budgets and measurements and use online budget software to help you.

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